“In the practice of charity, Buddhists distinguish three kinds of gifts: material, emotional, and spiritual. Material gifts include such things as food and clothes and medicine. Emotional gifts include comfort and protection. And spiritual gifts include guidance and instruction. In terms of their benefits, material gifts put an end to greed; emotional gifts put an end to anger; and spiritual gifts put an end to delusion. In practicing charity, or any of the perfections, the Buddha warns against attachment to three things: the practitioner (in this case, the person who gives); the beneficiary (the recipient); and the practice (the giving of the gift).” ~ Red Pine, commentary on Chapter 4 of the Diamond Sutra
Author Archives: CarmineDeMarco
Twlight
Twilight time is here.
Commuters make their way home –
asleep, not awake.
(October 24, 2018)
Copyright © 2018 Carmine DeMarco
After the Carnival
Walking home at night,
smell of flowers in the air.
Hands and hearts are joined.
(June 10, 2017)
Copyright © 2017 Carmine DeMarco
The Self Still Rules (double haiku)
I’m meditating!
Then, after that, feeling proud.
The Self reigns supreme.
“Congratulate me!”
The Self rules even where it’s
not supposed to be.
(January 16, 2017)
Copyright © 2017 Carmine DeMarco
Meditation Attachment
Meditation goals!
Feeling proud of the self as
delusions strengthen.
(January 15, 2017)
Copyright © 2017 Carmine DeMarco
November Breeze
Gusting through the trees,
The breeze strips their branches bare.
Leaves blanket the earth.
(November 11, 2016)
Copyright © 2016 Carmine DeMarco
Close
My sleeping beauty.
Her head nestled on my chest,
While I hold her close.
(March 12, 2013)
Copyright © 2013 Carmine DeMarco
Power Outage Haiku #3
Lantern lovemaking
until the batteries die;
then it’s time for sleep.
(August 28, 2011)
Copyright © 2011 Carmine DeMarco
Power Outage Haiku #2
Zazen in the dark.
Children giggle in their beds
while I watch my breath.
(August 28, 2011)
Copyright © 2011 Carmine DeMarco
Tree Haiku
Spring, and trees bring gifts:
flowering blossoms rain down
beauteous petals.
(3/29/16)
Copyright © 2016 Carmine DeMarco
Soft
Our legs intertwined,
caressing her feet with mine.
Her soles are so soft.
(June 7, 2013)
Copyright © 2018 Carmine DeMarco
On the benefits of solitude
Admiral Richard Byrd in Antarctica, April 14, 1934: “Here were imponderable processes and forces of the cosmos, harmonious and soundless. Harmony, that was it! That was what came out of the silence – a gentle rhythm, the strain of a perfect chord, the music of the spheres, perhaps. It was enough to catch that rhythm, momentarily to be myself a part of it. In that instant I could feel no doubt of man’s oneness with the universe.” https://thewalrus.ca/the-benefits-of-solitude/
Divisiveness
Sesshin Dawn
Practice
Cogito ergo….
Impermanence
“The capacity for empathic conversation goes hand in hand with the capacity for solitude”
“In solitude we learn to concentrate and imagine, to listen to ourselves. We need these skills to be fully present in conversation.”
Stop Googling. Let’s talk. by Sherry Turkle. New York Times Sunday Review, September 26, 2015
“I am he, as you are he, as you are me, and we are all together.”
“As remarkable as this may be, stunning results from a new study show that cells from other individuals are also found in the brain. *** We all consider our bodies to be our own unique being, so the notion that we may harbor cells from other people in our bodies seems strange. Even stranger is the thought that, although we certainly consider our actions and decisions as originating in the activity of our own individual brains, cells from other individuals are living and functioning in that complex structure.”
Church Bells
“Everything in the universe is connected…”
“Outside and inside, substance and phenomena: these pairs are neither dualistic nor opposed, but form one unseparated whole. Change, any change, influences all actions, all relationships among all existences; the satisfaction or dissatisfaction of one person influences every other person; our movements and those of others are interdependent. Everything in the universe is connected, everything is osmosis. You cannot separate any part from the whole: interdependence rules the cosmic order.” ~ Taisen Deshimaru Roshi, “The Zen Way to the Martial Arts”
After Dinner Chat
On the power of belief
Luke: “I don’t believe it.”
Yoda: “That is why you fail.”
On quietude
Quote
“All men’s miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone.” ~ Blaise Pascal
“Everything is connected to everything else”
Professor Brian Cox explains from a scientific viewpoint why everything in the universe is connected to everything else:
Chirping Crickets
Noise inside my head.
Zazen brings the quiet mind
hearing crickets chirp.
(September 5, 2012)
Copyright © 2012 Carmine DeMarco
On not missing life’s great moments
(The following is a story that began circulating on the Internet over a dozen years ago, under different titles and with various modifications. It comes from the 1999 book Make Me an Instrument of Your Peace by Kent Nerbern.)
The Cab Ride
There was a time in my life twenty years ago when I was driving a cab for a living. It was a cowboy’s life, a gambler’s life, a life for someone who wanted no boss, constant movement, and the thrill of a dice roll every time a new passenger got into the cab.
What I didn’t count on when I took the job was that it was also a ministry. Because I drove the night shift, the car became a rolling confessional. Passengers would climb in, sit behind me in total darkness and anonymity, and tell me of their lives.
We were like strangers on a train, the passengers and I, hurtling through the night, revealing intimacies we would never have dreamed of sharing during the brighter light of day.
In those hours, I encountered people whose lives amazed me, ennobled me, made me laugh, and made me weep. And none of those lives touched me more than that of a woman I picked up late on a warm August night.
I was responding to a call from a small brick fourplex in a quiet part of town. I assumed I was being sent to pick up some partyers, or someone who had just had a fight with a lover or someone going off to an early shift at some factory in the industrial part of town.
When I arrived at the address, the building was dark except for a single light in a ground-floor window. Under these circumstances many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a short minute, and then drive away. Too many bad possibilities awaited a driver who went up to a darkened building at two-thirty in the morning.
But I had seen too many people trapped in a live of poverty who depended on the cab as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door to try to find the passenger. It might, I reasoned, be someone who needed my assistance. Would I not want a driver to do the same if my mother or father had called for a cab?
So I walked to the door and knocked.
“Just a minute”, answered a frail and elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.
After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman, somewhere in her eighties, stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like you might see in a costume shop or a Goodwill store or in a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The sound had been her dragging it across the floor.
The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.
“Would you carry my bag out to the car?” she said. “I’d like a few moments alone. Then, if you could come back and help me? I’m not very strong.”
I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm, and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness.
“It’s nothing”, I told her. “I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated”.
“Oh, you’re such a good boy”, she said. Her praise and appreciation were almost embarrassing.
When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, “Could you drive through downtown?”
“It’s not the shortest way,” I answered.
“Oh, I don’t mind,” she said. “I’m in no hurry. I’m on my way to a hospice”.
I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening.
“I don’t have any family left,” she continued. “The doctor said I should go there. He says I don’t have very long.”
I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. “What route would you like me to go?” I asked.
For the next two hours we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they had first been married. She made me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she would have me slow down in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.
As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, “I’m tired. Let’s go now.”
We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a tar driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. Without waiting for me, they opened the door and began assisting the woman. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her: perhaps she had phoned them right before we left.
I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase up to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.
“How much do I owe you?” she asked, reaching into her purse.
“Nothing,” I said.
“You have to make a living,” she answered.
“There are other passengers,” I responded.
Almost without thinking, I bent over and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly. “You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,” she said. “Thank you.”
There was nothing more to say. I squeezed her hand once, then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me I could hear the door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.
I did not pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly, lost in thought. For the remainder of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten a driver who had been angry or abusive or impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run or had honked once, then driven away? What if I had been in a foul mood and had refused to engage the woman in conversation? How many other moments like that had I missed or failed to grasp?
We are so conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unawares. When that woman hugged me and said that I had brought her a moment of joy, it was possible to believe that I had been placed on earth for the sole purpose of providing her with that last ride. I do not think that I have done anything in my life that was any more important.
Paul McCartney – “Glass Walls”
Quote
“Some people feel the rain, others just get wet. (Bob Marley)”
The moon cannot be stolen
Ryokan, a Zen master, lived the simplest kind of life in a little hut at the foot of a mountain. One evening a thief visited the hut only to discover there was nothing in it to steal.
Ryokan returned and caught him. “You may have come a long way to visit me,” he told the prowler, “and you should not return empty-handed. Please take my clothes as a gift.”
The thief was bewildered. He took the clothes and slunk away.
Ryokan sat naked, watching the moon. “Poor fellow, ” he mused, “I wish I could give him this beautiful moon.”
On concentration
After winning several archery contests, the young and rather boastful champion challenged a Zen master who was renowned for his skill as an archer.
The young man demonstrated remarkable technical proficiency when he hit a distant bull’s eye on his first try, and then split that arrow with his second shot. “There,” he said to the old man, “see if you can match that!
Undisturbed, the master did not draw his bow, but rather motioned for the young archer to follow him up the mountain. Curious about the old fellow’s intentions, the champion followed him high into the mountain until they reached a deep chasm spanned by a rather flimsy and shaky log. Calmly stepping out onto the middle of the unsteady and certainly perilous bridge, the old master picked a far away tree as a target, drew his bow, and fired a clean, direct hit. “Now it is your turn,” he said as he gracefully stepped back onto the safe ground.
Staring with terror into the seemingly bottomless and beckoning abyss, the young man could not force himself to step out onto the log, no less shoot at a target. “You have much skill with your bow,” the master said, sensing his challenger’s predicament, “but you have little skill with the mind that lets loose the shot.”
On two wolves
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.”
“One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked, “Which wolf wins?” The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
Everything’s amazing…and nobody’s happy
Quote
Thoughts create karma. Thoughts are actions. ~ John Daido Loori Roshi
What is it?
There is a Hindu story of a fish who went to a queen fish and asked: “I have always heard about the sea, but what is this sea? Where is it?”
The queen fish explained: “You live, move, and have your being in the sea. The sea is within you and without you, and you are made of sea, and you will end in sea. The sea surrounds you as your own being.”
Singleness of purpose
Quote
“Success demands singleness of purpose.” ~ Vince Lombardi
On having a sense of perspective
We are all, at this very moment, on a rock that is hurtling through space at 2.7 million miles per hour (when you factor in the movement of the solar system and the motion of the galaxy itself).
This rock appears to be very solid and permanent beneath our feet, but in fact it becomes molten and tumultuous at an average depth of only 25 miles. This mostly-molten ball of rock is shooting through a vast, potentially-infinite universe that is approximately 14 billion years old.
It’s a universe that contains hundreds of billions of galaxies, each one containing hundreds of billions of stars. The part of the universe that we are able to see contains 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 stars. Our galaxy, the Milky Way, contains 200-400 billion stars. Our own star system (including this speeding rock we call planet Earth) is around 4.5 billion years old.
Our planet has gone through several mass extinction events, where the majority of its life forms vanished from the universe forever. Around 650 million years ago, our planet was completely entombed in ice, becoming a virtual snowball for 10 million years. For 160 million years, dinosaurs ruled the planet. By comparison, human species have existed for around 2.5 million years, and we homo sapiens for around only 200,000 years. The recorded history of our species extends back to around 6,000 years ago.
If you were to compare the time period that we modern humans have existed relative to the age of this rock we’re traveling on, by imagining it as a single year, we have been around for less than one day.
So, here we all are, racing through space together at millions of miles an hour, perched on the precariously-thin shell of this molten rock, among billions and billions of stars contained within billions and billions of galaxies. Here we are, ruled not by a sense of perspective tempered by the foregoing, or by rational thought, but rather by our passions, emotions, biases.
And what do we clever monkeys consider important, what matters to us?
We get angry because the fries we were served are cold.
We judge other people unyieldingly, using our subjective yardstick of what constitutes correct and moral behavior and thought.
We become offended by that person who is so audacious as to disagree with our political opinions (“don’t they know that they’re WRONG?”).
We need people to see us as powerful and knowledgeable, even if it’s just wielding our perceived authority within our local PTA.
We remain pissed off at that driver who cut us off hours earlier.
We distrust people whose religious beliefs and practices, or sexual preferences, are different from ours, because….well, because they’re not the SAME as ours.
We “unfriend” people on Facebook because they wounded our ego by not acknowledging how important and special we are.
We fume at being placed on hold for so long, or because of poor service by that waiter.
We carry resentment toward that boss who fired us years ago, obsessed with demonstrating to them what a mistake they made.
We spend the bulk of our conversations talking about other people and what we perceive to be their personality defects.
That is how we squander this astonishing, singular existence we share, 4.5 billion years after this universe popped into being. That is how we trivially occupy the all-too-brief 80 years or so that we get to ride on this roller coaster, before the ride comes to an end and we have to get off.
This morning, I woke to find that I was still going ’round on the ride, and that I didn’t have to get off just yet. Will I have a sense of perspective about my place in the universe…about what truly matters?
Copyright © 2012 Carmine DeMarco
On knowing your outcome
“One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. ‘Which road do I take?’ she asked. ‘Where do you want to go?’ was his response. ‘I don’t know’, Alice answered. ‘Then,’ said the cat, ‘it doesn’t matter.’” ~ Lewis Carroll
Monkey Mind Haiku
Monkey mind have I,
clutching at shiny baubles;
Wrapped in a skin bag.
(November 20, 2011)
Copyright © 2011 Carmine DeMarco
How sweet it is!
A man traveling across a field encountered a tiger. He fled, the tiger after him. Coming to a precipice, he caught hold of the root of a wild vine and swung himself down over the edge. The tiger sniffed at him from above. Trembling, the man looked down to where, far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him. Only the vine sustained him.
Two mice, one white and one black, little by little started to gnaw away the vine. The man saw a luscious strawberry near him. Grasping the vine with one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other. How sweet it tasted!
Power Outage Haiku #1
Along with crickets,
Generators in the night
are the only sounds.
(August 28, 2011)
Copyright © 2011 Carmine DeMarco
The 84th Problem
In a famous exchange with a farmer, the Buddha showed the persistent and pernicious nature of desire, the cause of all dukkha (suffering). The farmer said to the Buddha: “I like farming, but there are lots of problems. Sometimes it rains too much and my crops get flooded out. Sometimes it rains too little and they dry up….”
The Buddha listened attentively until the farmer finished and changed the subject. “I love my wife,” he said, “but she’s far from perfect. Sometimes she’s cold to me for no reason at all. Sometimes she’s so passionate that she wears me out….”
Again the Buddha listened patiently until the farmer once more changed the subject. “My children are wonderful,” he said, “but they’re always giving me trouble. Sometimes they fight with each other and break things. Sometimes they conspire against me….”
And so it went for quite a while, the Buddha listening quietly and the man continuing to complain. Finally the farmer finished speaking, and the Buddha said: “Thereis nothing I can do to help you, farmer. We’ve all got eighty-three problems, and that’s that. Maybe you can take care of one, but another one is bound to take its place. And some never change. For example, your farm, your wife, your children, even yourself – all will eventually pass away, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
The farmer, outraged, said: “You’re supposed to be a great teacher! What good is that teaching?”
The Buddha replied: “It may help you with the eighty-fourth problem.”
“What on earth is the eighty-fourth problem?” asked the farmer.
The Buddha answered, “You want not to have any problems.”
On letting things go
Two monks on a pilgrimage came to the ford of a river. There they saw a girl dressed in all her finery, obviously now knowing what to do since the river was high and she did not want to spoil her clothes. Without more ado, one of the monks took her on his back, carried her across, and put her down on dry ground on the other side. Then the monks continued on their way.
However, the other monk, after an hour or so, started complaining, “Surely it is not right to touch a woman; it is against our vows to have close contact with women. How could you go against the rules?
The monk who had carried the girl remarked, “I set her down by the river an hour ago. Why are you still carrying her?”
Heaven & Hell
The old monk sat by the side of the road. With his eyes closed, his legs crossed and his hands folded in his lap, he sat. In deep meditation, he sat.
Suddenly his zazen was interrupted by the harsh and demanding voice of a samurai warrior. “Old man! Teach me about heaven and hell!”
At first, as though he had not heard, there was no perceptible response from the monk. But gradually he began to open his eyes, the faintest hint of a smile playing around the corners of his mouth as the samurai stood there, waiting impatiently, growing more and more agitated with each passing second.
“You wish to know the secrets of heaven and hell?” replied the monk at last. “You who are so unkempt. You whose hands and feet are covered with dirt. You whose hair is uncombed, whose breath is foul, whose sword is all rusty and neglected. You who are ugly and whose mother dresses you funny. You would ask me of heaven and hell?”
The samurai uttered a vile curse. He drew his sword and raised it high above his head. His face turned to crimson and the veins on his neck stood out in bold relief as he prepared to sever the monk’s head from its shoulders.
“That is hell,” said the old monk gently, just as the sword began its descent. In that fraction of a second, the samurai was overcome with amazement, awe, compassion and love for this gentle being who had dared to risk his very life to give him such a teaching. He stopped his sword in mid-flight and his eyes filled with grateful tears.
“And that,” said the monk, “is heaven.”